Growing Side by Side!!

When the winds blew,
We made our leaves dance.
When the rains poured in,
We hugged each other tight.
When the earthworms,
cat walked beneath us,
We kept our roots locked.
We were not family,
-She had leaves of a different type.

Whenever I grew a leaf,
She gave me a pat.
Whenever I saw my leaves wither,
She promised that, it would heal.

When I felt scared in the dark;
Hearing the crickets chirp,
She would tickle my leaves
-With her long drawn breaths.
And remind me that she was right there
-Not that she could save me,
But that we could fight anything together.

Whether it was the day, the night
Heaven or hell,
I always believed;
I would have her beside.

But one day I woke up,
To have her disappeared from my side.
What just remained was a burrow,
From where she was uprooted.
I never knew where she went,
More precisely, where she was taken.
I terribly missed her giggles,
And her sweet compainionship.

Days later, I bloomed ‘daffodils’
And craved for her pat.
-But then I smelled’ lillies’
And I just knew that it was her,
-Reminding me that she was there;
Somewhere around
-Aware of me the way, I was of her.

Some plants happen to grow side by side
-Like some men.
They need not be family,
But just ‘daffodils’ and ‘lilies’
Who make each other feel home.
Even when they are kept apart,
They live in the hope
-of touching each others roots…. some day!!

Its Not Me..Anymore!!

I am fighting the darkness,
Which is consuming me.
Every breath of mine is becoming heavier.
And now I know;
How much my lungs,
Love the taste of air.

I am left alone ,
In this battle.
But two strong hands,
Have held me tight.
And so, I try to seek solace
In the love that they offer.
As time flies,
I feel the claws of death clutch my throat.
”Breathe!Fight my girl!!.”
I hear someone cry.
”I can’t!..I’m loosing..”
I shout back,
but into the void.

I feel the pain,
Kill every cell of my body.
And so one last time I open my eyes,
-Blinking away the tears,
To keep safe a photo,
Of someone I’m loosing
Or..maybe have already lost.

And now,
I find the shackles of my body,
-Loose and set free the soul
That it had once trapped.

I find myself move,
To the song of the air,
While I stare at her;
-Who have been my home for long.
-Shattered hopes,
And unfulfilled dreams.
A bundle of cells,
Which bore my self.
She is no more,
But I..still am.

And so to the air I whisper
”I am free,
from the labyrinth of life;
But by becoming a labyrinth myself.
Inhale me in..
And make me a nothing
-A new home
Where I truly belong.”

It does…
And in the wings of wind,
I float away.
Looking down at the mystery,
I have solved,
-A smile for a tear,
A hug for all the hurt.
A moon for the night,
And a million stars,
to heal all the scars…

-Maybe life was just so much,
 A simple tale;
 Meant to live and forget…

Four Walls!!

Within these four walls,
I feel safe from all falls
Here I sit alone,
Trying to be whole;
-Without the threat of being broken
Or being stained by hurt.

I try hard;
To make me forget,
The sweetness of each candy,
And the flavored smell of each bloom.

I lay awake,
Staring at this ceiling,
-Trying to be forgetful
About the night-painted skies,
And the starry eyes.
Here I learn to unlearn,
The magic of each sun’s rays
And the cheery yellowness
of each sun flower.

And finally I see it happen
-I have forgotten,
The different colours in my crayon box.
But, I still remember
the hues of the rainbow.

-I have forgotten
What spritz of water felt like.
But, I still remember
what a rain feels like.

-I have forgotten
What the flutters of snow flakes felt like.
But I still remember
what a cozy warm hug means.

These tiny things have grown in me,
And I have grown in them.
And ‘apart’ is no solution
But ‘together’… could be!!

Her Tiny Light!!

I saw a little girl;
With small hands,
And tiny fingers,
She had thin legs,
And small-round knee caps.
She smiled perfect,
And had naughty short curls.

But there was something;
Something with her eyes.
After every blink,
Her eyes opened wider,
Her eyes twinkled brighter,
-Seeking answers for her questions,
And giving life to her thoughts.

She always kept her palms open,
To pick everything,
-That went away.
To touch everything,
-That came her way.
She tried byhearting,
the fragrance of each flower,
and the flavour of its petals.

She always kept her ears open,
-To hear; the buzz of the bees
And the hum of the birds.
-To listen; to the melody of each morning,
And the dulcets of each night.
-To know; the tales,
The tales of her tiny world.

”She also kept filling her pockets,
with fireflies that glowed,
which showed her light,
when evrerything was dark.”

I look down at her,
wistfully;
Because I know,
-One day
She will find tethers and fetters
on her life.
And stains of hurt,
in her tiny world.

-Then, she will shut her ears,
To mute her own screams.
She will hold her fist closed,
To fight her own fate.
She will close her eyes tight,
In the fear of dark
And she will forget that she had
-Once befriended fireflies,

And so I tell her;
To keep her palms open,
And to stretch her fingers wide
-to gather more and more fireflies,
Until she becomes one..herself!!

Clouds are merely fantasies…

A curl of smoke clouded my vision and from in within, I saw his eyes- hazel, ebony and sometimes mahagony- shades of brown flashed within. Those eyes used to be the chocolate pools in the currents of which I used to lose myself. But for a while now, I feel as if they are shallow brown puddles that choke me. I’m gasping for for air, but all I see are clouds of smoke. I try to grab on but for all we know, clouds are merely fantasies.

A swig and a puff, and an occasional sniff- these were customary of him and these actions used to send me into whirlpools of passion. Maybe it was because I knew he was forbidden- or maybe it’s just that he never remembered. Those chocolate pools were my guilty pleasures. I could never reach it’s secret depths and they never questioned the secrets my eyes kept.

Grey tufts of smoke always dripped from his lips just like the red secrets that constantly dripped from mine. But each time he held me, I saw the curls of clouds in different ways- sometimes a butterfly, sometimes a net; sometimes a little bird, sometimes a cage. Each time he kissed me, driving smoke deep into my heart, the cloud- it evaporated and the smoke- it vanished- just as you find clarity in a fog.

Our love is now a stub- the flame slowly dying from being put out too many times. Each time he killed the embers on my heart, it left a scar- a small circular dark patch- like that of a cigarette butt.

Flames from mere lighters fail to light us now. I guess we might need an explosion! undefined

Those vines!!

To every wink of your heart,
My eyes twinkled.
To every wisp of my thoughts,
You gave wings.

Each stroke of your fingers,
Drew vines around my soul.
A twist here, a turn there;
They had curls like your hair.
They weren’t creepers which limited me,
But which made me feel limitless.
Along these vines a few blossoms thrived,
A few stupid giggles and heartfelt smiles.
The scent of these blossoms,
Made me feel whole.
Every breath of passion,
Made me feel myself.

I saw the curls of these vines,
Cling to my finger tips and my curly hair.
It never choked,
But made me feel safe;
Safe within this labyrinth of curls,
That your fingers left behind.

But, once you left,
I found myself lost in these vines.
Along the line of my tears,
I saw them smudge.
Then I felt something choke,
I felt something hold me back,
I found them to be the curls,
That you had left behind.

I fought them,
I unknotted them.
But, I was too weak,
To erase what you drew.
Some curls lost life,
While some remained;to live.
Some curls I erased,
While some remained;to leave marks.

You fooled me,
You never let me know
You always hid;
What grew in my insides
-The real vines,
Which I could never kill!!

Something Cryptic!!

                          

A smile didn’t do,
A greeting didn’t do.
No other tricks,
Could find a proper fix,
For what we shared ,
And what we uncared.

All of a sudden,
we started feeling the burden;
of the battle in our heads,
to tell aloud the unsaid.
But the threads of anxiety tangled,
And our throats were strangled.
With every fight to talk,
We met with a block.

But once we chose,
to fight and let loose,
We saw the miracle happen,
And both of us cracked open
We saw the light enter,
And show ourselves better.

We could talk and talk
Where to; time could walk,
The not funny jokes,
Were the smartest of folks.
The senseless giggles,
Were the most precious smuggles.

Each stupid fight,
Showed some light.
And each tale to sleep,
Was the farthest of leaps.
But this wasn’t the begining,
But the end.
Sadly we are too late,
And this was our fate.

Looking back I see;
What we have had
But not what we missed
And like before I choose,
To fight and let loose,
Hoping a sweet miracle!!

Strings!!

Me and this life is made of strings,
They are tied from somewhere
to somewhere; which I’m questing for.
These strings are muddled and tangled,
And this makes it hard for me to breathe.
Every time I breathe, I realize
How difficult it is to keep me alive.
These strings are knotted,
And I wish I knew each of its purpose.
Do these knots hold you together?
Or is it meant for you to unknot?

When I try to untangle or untie,
A hundred more is formed,
So what am I supposed to do?
Just feel this choke me?
Why is it hard to know;
what emotions flow from my heart?
Why is it hard to know;
Where these strings take me?
Maybe, into a maze
Where I don’t recognize myself.

I wish, for once I could come out,
And know what life means;
without these strings…
In this fight and struggle to free me,
What if one of my nerves break?
What if I cut one string?
Does it hurt to mark an end?
Or, does it bleed to make me repent?

To Fly Far Away..

                             

My heart pounds,
Along every tiny thing it counts.
I hear its rhythm sing,
with every flap of my wing.
I wish to complete this flight,
Forgetting my sad plight.

I thought I knew,
Atleast a few.
But I was mistaken,
And this leaves me shaken.
Maybe why did I care,
Knowing everything was unfair.
I feel so small,
Watching everything fall.
I found none real,
In this world surreal.
My heart still ache,
When I see them fake.

My only wish is to fly far away,
Before, someone comes my way.
I want to go across these stars,
Healing each of my scars…

The day I loved my roses…

One stuffy afternoon,

scented with anticipation and hopes,

a little red rose,

bloomed inside of me.

Seven days since and seven roses had bloomed,

for me to adorn myself – bouquet or brooch.

The price to pay – was not quite small,

I had to keep the seasons’ secrets hidden,

within my bashfully blooming bosom.

And from that day onwards,

the seasons played with me,

tormenting and torturing me for as long as it wanted.

– sometimes sooner and sometimes later,

sometimes longer and sometimes shorter.

I couldn’t love the roses,

for the pain of the thorns and the burden of the secrets.

But the seasons never left

and the roses always bloomed.

Until one day,

the seasons stopped the visits

and roses couldn’t bloom,

because my heart was beating twice

and my tummy was growing in size.

After a while,

on another stuffy afternoon,

the roses returned – blooming and blossoming,

the thorns this time – never a secret,

the seasons this time – to slay and to conquer.

But it was on that day,

that a rose had really bloomed,

and she lay in my arms,

in white bundles of cloth.

My little bud,

had finally bloomed

and the secrets I had kept,

flowed out of my bosom.

And as my little red blossom, began to cry,

My sweet sweet secrets pacified her.